New Rules

Now that I’m a mom I have found there are certain activities I can no longer engage in because of my inner fear of death or severe injury. I’m not sure where this deeply imbedded aversion has come from but it is overwhelming.

I can’t stomach the thought of rollercoasters, speeding and driving erratically, base jumping, or even riding a motorcycle. This strange feeling of survival is new to me. Once in Ocean City, Maryland the undercurrent started to pull me out to sea and when I had given up the fight to live approximately 15 feet from the beach, a friend pulled me to safety. Clearly, I was missing that drive to live earlier and now that I have babies, I have this new desire to stay alive.

I’ve also come up with a list of places I will no longer visit or frequent due to a statistically higher chance of death, bodily assault, or dismemberment as per intelligence garnered from the media:

Jogging paths near any type of wooded areas
Dark alleys
JB’s neighborhood
Air Shows
Any establishment where people go by nicknames instead of first names
Cabot Cove
Hudson University
Jumbo Jets
Sunnydale

I’m keeping an ongoing list so if you can think of any other places please let me know ASAP. I don’t want to unwittingly take undue risks with my life and limb. That’s how I roll now.

Stupid Stupid Stupid

In response to the recent Metro accident a Facebook friend posted the following:

[Name] says all things work according to his plan. No matter what you are going through, know in your heart that God knows what you really need. Hold your head up high and remember the battle is the LORD'S! You don't have to fight it.....God will do it for you. Stop getting in his way!

Give me a fucking break! Wait, what was I thinking? Of course God was up there thinking... "Hmmm we need some more angels or whatever. Let me cause a horrific accident where 100 people are maimed and 7 people die a tragic, painful death. Amen to me!”

Shut the fuck up. I hate that shit. Get your stories straight. Either He is loving and great or randomly kills His “children.” It’s like when people responded to our babies in the NICU for 9 weeks with bullshit phrases like “God knows what He is doing” or “God doesn’t give you more than you can bare.” Total crap. If your God kills babies because he needs another fucking baby angel then your God is a sadistic fucker full of hate.

People got hurt and lost their lives yesterday. The Lord did nothing to cause this shit and it isn’t part of a “plan.”

Grow up.

Misunderstanding of This Thing Here

I would classify myself as “liberal” but I have my limits. For instance, I’m not a big fan of Obama’s health plan (another post). After a miscarriage, hospital bed rest, and preterm babies, I was worried about my thoughts on abortion. I’ve always been a prochoice kind of gal. After sobbing so hard after losing a pregnancy so early on, I had a new respect for the making baby business. And then after giving birth to twins that were 12 weeks premature and watch them fight for their lives on a daily basis, I thought this too would greatly alter my feelings on the matter.

I have found that I still believe in a woman’s right to choose, albeit with caveats. For instance, I find it a hard pill to swallow that abortions happen for non medical reasons after 12 weeks. At 12 weeks they have a human baby profile and are moving and feel pain. I can see the need for this procedure for a medical reason (major defects, mother’s health, etc.), but not so much for a woman that can’t make up her mind if she is ready to be a mom or not.

But after reading this article, I simply wanted to throw up. Third term abortions? Really?

I fought with everything I had to make to the 3rd term and made it there for two whole days before giving birth. The article notes that these procedures are only done for medical reasons. But what medical reason is there? Seriously. I’m asking. What issues come up where they have to abort the baby instead of giving birth and taking it to the NICU? Next to my son’s crib in the NICU there was a 23 weeker. She was only 1lb 2oz at birth. What would had to have happened for a doctor to advise his patient that instead of giving it their best in the NICU they would instead have to abort the baby and just know that all was lost?

Some things I just don’t understand.

My Boobs, My Sleep

I fell asleep upstairs in the pumping room (Nursing Mothers’ Room) while at work. I woke up with a pool of sticky milk in my lap. And I drooled on myself. All in all it was pretty hot.

I could fall asleep anywhere for any amount of time. And now I have a pumping hickey on the side of my breast where my sleeping self made a futile attempt at continuing to pump.

And apparently I was out for like an HOUR. Awesome.

Voting

What's dorkier?

A. Collecting comic books

or

B. Watching Star Trek: The Next Generation

We need help settling this argument. Thank you in advance for your help.

Lessons Learned from DC and Marion Barry

Dear Marion Barry (and citizens of Washington DC),

By your recent example of leading/having an anti-gay marriage rally and protest today, I have learned some valuable lessons. I want to thank you for setting the record straight (pardon the term) and living by God’s example. I’ve learned the following things from you and hope to translate them into my every day life:

- Carry signs that state “kids deserve a mom AND a dad” even though it has nothing to do with gay marriage (people can get pregnant without being married)
- Be more concerned about “the gays” than other social issues (AIDS rate, youth violence, drug use, failing schools, etc.)
- If you are a minority, try to hate someone in a group smaller than your minority (Blacks, Jews, gays, etc.)
- Use the bible to justify your bigotry (when slaves were legal and accepted, hating Jews, not allowing women to own property or vote, etc.)
- Try to mix politics and your own personal religious views as often as possible (gay marriage, gambling, etc.)
- Try your best to oppress groups of people you hate but don’t call it prejudice, bigotry or some sort of “ism.” Instead, tell people it is “God’s will” and purport to be saving the USA from a moral hazard.

From you Marian Barry I’ve learned the most. I’ve learned that being gay isn’t the path to being a responsible citizen. And wanting the same rights as my fellow citizens is in fact ridiculous and sick. Instead, I plan to consort with people that do illicit drugs and in engage in those activities myself. I also plan on never paying my taxes again, which makes even more sense for me since I don’t currently have the same rights as you.

Seriously. Thank you random DC citizens (and commuters) and Marion Barry. Today I’ve learned so much.